Why Traditions are at the Heart of the Holidays for Moms

There is definitely something about this time of year that draws us closer to what matters most. Perhaps it's that warm scent in the air, or the pink sunsets (well, at least in the desert!), or maybe even the chill in the air that makes you want to grab a soft blanket, and a mug of something warm. Whatever IT is, it can sometimes get tossed out the door, as if an earthquake came through to shake up and ravage your peace of mind. Moms carry so much this time of year.  We are the magic makers, memory creators, planners, cooks, gift hunters...the glue to keep everyone and everything together.

Even though we "handle" ALL of IT, and feel like our brain is going to burst at any moment...
There is something soft, and something sacred that we try our hardest to prioritize.

The conversation I want to begin with you, and I hope you continue in your own home: the heart of Traditions. Why do they matter? Why (especially this year) does it feel more important than ever to quiet the noise, and gently return to what roots and connects us?

The Threads That Stitch Our Families Together

With all the screaming, shouting, and hustle from the outside world, a gentle whisper is constantly distracting us. A whisper from those who came before us. A whisper to remind us who we are, and where we came from. Their whispers ground us: emotionally, spiritually, generationally.

Every time we dress the table with the same dishes, decorate the tree with old, clunky ornaments, light a candle that creates an exact aroma, or say a blessing that has been said 1,000 times; we are participating in something that is far bigger than the act itself. We are stitching ourselves into the tapestry of everyone who has come before us.

We are retelling the story of our grandparents, our great-grandparents, and the many other hands who have participated in the same traditions, long before our time...before they even knew they were shaping our future. We are keeping their memory alive through our hands, thoughts, stories, and emotions. We are creating a connection with many we have never even met. How amazing is that? Keeping Traditions alive says:
“They were here. They mattered. And because of them, we do too.”

Traditions Are Moms "Soul Work" Of The Holidays

I always joke that "I am the magic Keebler Elf", sneaking around behind the scenes to ensure all the "important stuff" gets done! To most Moms out there, that "stuff" may not be what our kids remember, but every emotion, every taste, and every smell will be carried through them for years to come. That depth of memory and Tradition is called "spiritual" work for Moms. And while it may be emotionally tiring at times, Moms ALL want their kids to always feel loved, important, and part of something special. Those are the memories, stories, and Traditions we want our kids to continue on. Not the gifts, not the 1 billion events that change every year, and definitely not the trillions of cookie exchanges that add stress to the holidays. Just the simplicity of what they can look back on, and know that they are part of something amazing.

Because when we show our kids the importance of their family Traditions we make them part of our family identity. It gives our kids a sense of emotional grounding (a place where they feel familiar), a connection with their ancestors, and an opportunity to hear stories of their own culture and family history. It gives them a sense of how to build and protect spiritual values, and in many ways for us Moms, it allows us to return to who we really are (not what society expects us to be).  

As a mom, in those quiet moments, when we see our kids’ faces light up (over the same things that lit up ours when we were their age), that’s when we feel our own childhood rise up inside us. That’s when we hear our mother’s voice, our grandmother’s laughter. That’s when we think, “This is why it matters.”

My Traditions: Where the Past Meets the Present

I grew up in a home filled with Italian traditions so big they practically had their own personalities. And as I raise my own kids, I’ve learned that keeping these rituals alive isn’t about perfection. It’s simply about being there, in that moment. I want to share a few Traditions that we continue every year. No matter what. I will always put aside time for my family Traditions. This is not to boast or brag; this is to possibly open some hearts this year to recreate a Tradition you may have, over time, forgotten about. Perhaps, it's time to share some stories and Traditions with your kids. Give them the opportunity to carry them on, even if you choose not to.

Christmas Eve: The Feast of the Fishes

Every Christmas Eve, my mom, my daughters, and myself prepare the Feast of the Fishes. If you're Italian you know what this is! It's a tradition that has been in my family longer than any of us can track. It’s loud. It’s chaotic. Some don't like fish! Some love it! Sometimes there are 5 fishes, sometimes 7! One time we did 13! It’s delicious. But more than that, it’s the moment that reminds me:
We come from strong, resilient, food-loving people who believed in the sacredness of gathering.

Each dish and recipe has it's own story to tell, and every year, even when things change (when people move, when loved ones pass) this feast keeps them close.

Christmas Ravioli-Making With My Mom and Daughters

This one is pure joy, and makes all of us feel like a TRUE ITALIAN!

Every year, three generations of women (me, my mom, and my daughters) line up in the kitchen with flour-covered hands, filling raviolis while talking about life. Everything from school stress to memories of my Nanni and "Popo" (as my kids lovingly called my grandpa), to the dreams my daughters have for the future. It’s not fancy. It’s not Pinterest-perfect. It is, however, perfect for us. There are no film crews capturing every moment for Social Media. Just us! Laughing, singing Christmas Carols, and creating memories that only our presence can capture.

These moments feel like time slows down just long enough for me to see the legacy unfolding in real time. One day, I hope my daughters will gather their kids and say, “This is what my mom and Nanni taught me.”

Traditions like these turn into stories. Stories turn into memories. Memories turn into the things that keep us alive...long after we’re gone.

Our Newest Tradition: A Christmas Story Christmas

Now, I love the Traditions my parents have passed down to me, but I have still found moments to create my own, with my family unit. One of my favorites is every Thanksgiving night, after the rush of the day settles and everyone is full and sleepy, our little family puts on A Christmas Story Christmas to officially kick off the countdown to Christmas. We even manage to get Tyson downstairs to watch it on our big screen. We pop popcorn, get in our PJs, and get cozy on the couch together. It’s simple. It’s cozy. It’s the moment that tells all of us:
The season has begun. Exhale. Let’s savor it.

Another Tradition that has become a highlight of the season for all of us (yes, even my 13 year old son enjoys it!) Watching A Christmas Carol at our local community theater. The same theater, the same show (sometimes the same cast), the same energy of stepping into something magical. Truly, it's magical! The entire theater looks like you stepped into a Charles Dickens Novel! My kids now know the lines, the music, the feeling.

These traditions are the ones I hope my children carry (in their own way) long after they’re grown, telling their own families,
“We did this every year, and it meant something to us.”

The Power of Inviting Others Into Traditions

One of the most meaningful parts of the holidays (something we don’t talk about enough) is how healing it can be to bring others into our traditions. Inviting grandparents, neighbors, friends who celebrate differently, friends who have lost someone, friends who are far from family, friends who carry their own stories and rituals that add beauty to ours.

When we bring new people into our circle, we expand the love we give and the love we receive. We honor the people who came before us by continuing the legacy of community, connection, and shared tables.

Traditions don’t weaken when we share them...they deepen.

Creating New Traditions: The Legacy We Leave Behind

Your traditions don’t need to look like your neighbor’s, your mother’s, or the ones the internet claims you “should” have (with picture perfect table scapes!). The most meaningful traditions are the ones you choose intentionally because they feel like home. The ones that remind you of who you are. The ones your children will talk about someday when they’re grown. The ones that say, “This was our family story.”

New or old, traditions give our children something to stand on.

They say,
“You belong.”
“You come from somewhere.”
“You are loved. Before, now, and after.”

Quieting the Noise This Season

This holiday season, I hope you give yourself permission to quiet the chaos:

• Say no to the extra commitments that don’t feel right.

• Say yes to the moments that make your heart exhale.

• Put less pressure on perfection.

• Put more priority into connection.

• Let the holidays be simple, soulful, and grounding.

Traditions don’t need to be big or extravagant. They just need to mean something.

A Holiday Wish for You

As we enter Thanksgiving week, here is my hope for you:

That you find comfort in the rituals you’ve carried forward.
That you create new ones with intention and love.
That you invite others into the warmth of your home and your heart.
That you feel your ancestors beside you. In the kitchen, around the table, in the laughter, in the memories.
And that you see your children soaking it all in, even when you think they’re not paying attention. Because they are.
And one day, they will tell these stories about you.

Happy Thanksgiving my friend!
May your season be full of warmth, connection, simplicity, and soul.